By Amy Schrei, Director of Communications and Marketing
This year, the Tower Hill community read the book, Never Enough: When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic And What We Can Do About It by Jennifer Wallace.
Tower Hill embraces an achievement culture, but a healthy one, and Never Enough helps us to do this in a research-informed way. For students to achieve their highest potential, we must create school and family systems that convince them they matter deeply—not just for what they accomplish, but for who they are. Engaging this sense of mattering, rather than stressing only a hard-driving competitive ethos, bolsters achievement.
Each summer, Tower Hill faculty and staff collectively read a book that informs their work and professional development. Before the school year, small groups discussed ways to incorporate the concept of mattering into classroom practices. Faculty reflected on how, as adults, they could and would communicate to students that they have deep meaning—defined and specific meaning—to the community of their classroom, team or advisory. Faculty and staff were encouraged to help students identify—through conversations or activities—how their community depends on them and for what specifically. Faculty incorporated mattering feedback at parent/teacher conferences, and Head of School Sarah Baker began including Never Enough encouragements and reminders to faculty and staff in her monthly messages.
The book was so influential that the Board of Trustees read it and discussed college choice, weighing prestige versus fit. They also reflected on the school’s motto and the book’s argument that setting limits, doing less and cooperating more can lead to better health and higher achievement.
Upper School students also engaged by reading Never Enough and led discussions with Head of School Sarah Baker and Head of Upper School Dr. Jack Phillips. Dr. Phillips noted their unanimous reaction: students felt the book accurately described the pressure they experience from parents, school, peers and themselves, despite receiving messages to the contrary. At the final meeting, students anonymously shared one thing they wanted adults to know. The sentiment was clear—they care deeply and are trying hard, even when to adults it may for any number of reasons seem otherwise.
Book discussions extended to parents, who were enthusiastic about the opportunity to meet with Sarah Baker and other administrators for a collaborative exchange of ideas. The event attracted a larger than expected number of parents, and attendees gathered in groups according to their division. While the specific concerns were age-appropriate, the general theme was universal—families and the school want to understand how best to support students to find happiness and reduce stress. Assistant Head of School Lindsay Acevedo reflected, “The atmosphere and interactions were genuine and collaborative, with an openness to sharing, not only worries, but also wisdom and advice. Parents and administrators were actively listening to and learning from one another. We all want what is best for the kids.”
Never Enough emphasizes the importance of building supportive relationships. When schools and families form strong partnerships, they provide powerful support that students need for their achievement, wellbeing and true sense of self worth.
